Inspiration

Despite the fact that I don't really care for Paula Abdul in her role as pantocrator of American Idol, I do like her music. Like the song "Straight Up." I found it on the family MediaDrive this morgen, and it's got some good lyrics ('man.)

I've been fooled before, wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door, How 'bout some inspiration please? Straight up now tell me, do you really want to love me forever, or am I caught in a hit-and-run?

Sometimes I like songs that pay it forward like that. ;) Not heinous ones like "God Must've Spent a Little More Time on You." (sorry...anime again!)

That song makes me feel a lot like Galatea under Pygmalion's hand. I believe I'd rather have someone know my faults and love me more because I've tried to overcome those defects than turn me into the ideal woman who cannot, would not, ought not make a mistake. We're all striving toward perfection, and we help each other toward that goal. Negating faults and pretending we're already at the peak of our potential stunts us.

Not that we should always be reproving, either. Like Frank Sinatra's "Funny Valentine."

Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak? When you open it to speak, are you smart?... but don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me...

What I'm getting at is that I need someone who can pull me to higher ground when he's there, and who will let me help him to higher ground when I'm there. And when we're both there, we can walk together. I am a huge supporter of the idea of an eternal companion. Not my missing "half" but my missing whole. Two people who work intricately as a single cell but retain each's own respective and unique characteristics and spark of spirit.

Kind of like this song. Again, sorry about the anime... :)

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile, you take my hand, you've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true...

Back from the Dead

Well, sort-of. I just haven't had anything to write on this blog for a while, or at least not a lot I wanted the www to know.

Anyway, I'm actually going to relate a quasi-boy experience as it applies to the 5-year anniversary of September 11:

I was watching the news feed when the second plane hit. I saw everything, even the faux pas the news made in showing people jumping out of the windows to avoid the flames. It was horrifying. I live near a military airport, and I remember how quiet the sky was for about a week afterwards, and how eerie it was the first time I heard a plane in the sky again. But most of all, I remember worrying about my friend on the West Coast.

It shouldn't have been something to worry about. He was on the wrong side of the country. But I thought if the planes could get us in New York, what was keeping them from California? Thankfully Rob called me later that night and we talked for a long, long time. He had been worried about me all day, waiting to get off of work to call me, even though he knew there was even less chance of an attack in Utah than Cali. The first thing he asked me was, "I know this is silly, because you're in Utah, but are you all right?"

We were scared. Scared about his mission. Scared for the United States. Scared for the Church. Scared of everything. Most of all, I remember talking to him and finally feeling some comfort knowing he was safe and knowing he was worried about me in return. It was a good feeling on a day that otherwise would be a blot in my memory.

No matter what happens, we have good memories of those we've lost. No matter what they have done or said, these memories make it worth the time. It's like Kendall always says,

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But they will never forget the way you made them feel.

On September 11, 2001, I felt like one of the most important people in America.