Link

Because let's face it. When you find a boy who lets you obsess about the Legend of Zelda and then play the video game for hours without complaint, then it's prolly time you should consider keeping him.

Just a thought.

Food Storage

So I decided that a definite bonus to someday getting married is the prospect of adequate food storage. Versus what I'm currently living on.

It's not that single people don't have food. We do. We just have to pick-and-choose from what our roommates have and what we don't, and thereby make a balanced meal. I guess I'm feeling guilty for once again pilfering one of Kristi's cans of chicken noodle soup, which I wouldn't have had to do if I had the unlimited resources of a can-goddess.

In contrast, Matt and Lily's pantry was chock-full of canned goodness of every type. I should know. I sorted it for them while they were on their honeymoon. Those canned whatevers would have come in handy this morning when I was looking for chicken broth.

And it's not just cann-ed goods. Married people also have access to the full gamut of spices. Mom does. They're sitting down in the Fruit Room, waiting to be turned into some fantastical garnish for who knows what. I can't even guess what half of those spices are. Does this make me an inadequate woman? I hope not. I'd hate for that to be on my resume.

Hands

My favorite thing about my boyfriend today is:

The fact that his hand is just big enough for my hand to fit comfortably in it. Sometimes, I think it was custom-made that way.

Networking

Warning: venting blog approaching.

It's a well-known fact that guys are constantly baffled by the underground organization known to some only as the Girl Network. It's a streamlined system that efficiently feeds women our gossip within the hour the event has happened, and keeps us apprised to the goings-on in our world. Membership, however, is exclusive and contingent on an intricate understanding of the Reckless Female Hormone. Guys get frustrated with our web of "knowingness" and we can't really blame them for being bewildered and / or frustrated with how much it pervades daily life.

But as I learned today, yes we can.

I've decided that guys have as extensive and clandestine network as we ladies do, and in some cases, it's more lethal. The key to the Guy Network is the principle of not-telling. We say they don't talk to each other about love / life / whatever, but they do. They talk about these things a lot.

Example:

My friend broke up with her boyfriend today. Recently-ex'ed-boyfriend (Danny) is mad at friend (Kristin) because she is still writing to a missionary (Kenneth.) This is not the pivotal argument of the break-up, but Danny chose to bring it into the fray. Danny had known about Missionary Kenneth since January because boy-network aquaintance and therefore bosom-companion (Thomas) had told Danny about Kenneth. It's not like this information was anything new to him. The "knowing" part of it wasn't bad. It was the fact that Danny never said anything to Kristin about this before, or that it bugged him, until they actually broke up. He'd gotten the secret from the Boy Network ages ago, and failed to properly apply his knowledge. It's not Kristin's fault that Danny skirted this important issue completely, waiting for it to surface at the most inopportune time.

Without making sweeping generalizations, as I'm about to do, I'm a bit miffed at the whole thing. If Danny had a problem, Danny should have addressed the problem. He should not have waited for the problem to explode or dissolve on its own, and then blame Kristin for the problem's being there. It wouldn't have been an issue if he hadn't made it one. Thomas, if the issue was bugging him, on his buddy's account, should have talked directly to Kristin instead of going over to Danny and undermining the relationship with potentially toxic information.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that the Boy Network is just as powerful and deceptive as the Girl Network, and both could use a bit more common sense in their delivery.

Taco Bell

I mean, you gotta give the boy credit for trying. Most guys see Kendall and just get bladder discomfort.

Taco Bell Employee (male): "Would you like to get a drink, ma'am?"

Kendall (female): "No thanks."

Taco Bell Employee (persistent male): "I meant would you like to get a drink with me?"

Kendall (confuzzled female): ". . . . . . . . . . . " (Promptly walks away.)

And that, my friends, is the classic BYU scene I witnessed not three hours ago. Oh pick-up lines, how I love thee! It's an invasive way to break the ice, but it sure does get attention. Like this: "Your lips look wrinkled. Do you want me to press them?"

That one is pretty great, and I'm sure at some time I may use it to my advantage. (Again... where is my boyfriend?!) but I've heard some strange / gross pick-up lines as well. And so today's blog is an open forum. Tell me about your best / worse lines and I'll rate them in order of how heinous / effective they are. Won't that be fun? ... you know you want to.

"I lost my phone number...can I have your's?"

Addendum

According to Kristi, there has to be an addition to the Hugs post.

17. The arms around your neck I want to grab your face and kiss you hug. So. Hot.

Not to be confused with what a bear does while mauling you.

And then there's the bad list addition:

7. The dead fish hug. Way worse than the dead-fish hand shake.